The 3 Days I'll Never Forget - Day 1

After, everything happened my timeline is a big blur.  However I will never forget the 3 days before.  They are burned into my memory and I relive them whenever I think about it.  It's very interesting how your memory works, which I'm sure you will pick up on from these blogs.

Day 1

Sunday September 11, 2016

Was like any normal lazy Sunday at our house.  I was watching 9-11 documentaries and working on making leather cuff bracelets.  The boys were playing, running in and out of the house.  Wylie and his Dad were installing a new toliet in our main floor bathroom.  Now this was not just your ordinary run of the mill toliet.  It was tall, so your knees wouldn't touch your chest when you sat down.  A problem both of us had being on the taller side.  The seat was the soft close seat, so I wouldn't have to get after the boys for slamming the seat & lid down on the occasions they remembered to do that.  As any mom or woman living in a house of boys can tell you, you must ALWAYS check the seat before you sit down!  It only takes one time of falling into the water to learn that lesson.  Another issue with all boys is clogging the toliet.  Wylie's Dad claimed this toliet was uncloggable, which was a very bold statement.  He said he could testify to this as he had the same one.  I personally, did not believe this to be true, but of course wanted to see for myself.  (Sidenote: it's only been clogged twice since installation, which is pretty impressive).   Now anyone reading this who has witnessed Wylie and his Dad trying to fix something, knows they usually end up in convoluted mess which is hilarious to anyone who has been watching their whole process.  After a little time had passed, you could tease them about it and they'd get a good laugh.  Well installing this toliet was no different, but they finally succeeded before that evening rolled around.  We then had dinner, everyone got to try the new toliet, got the boys showered and ready for bed.

This is the last video Wylie took on his phone informing me that we were getting this fancy new toilet.  The Before Me would never have shared this video b/c I'm in my weekend mode attire and hair.  However the After Me doesn't care what I look like and willing to share this with all of you.

Now this next part I've never really talked about with anyone, b/c the guilt I feel still haunts me.  However I think it's very important for other Widow's to hear this especially if they are dealing with any feelings of guilt themselves.  That night I was laying with the boys in their bedroom and I clearly remember Wylie coming to the doorway to ask me when I was coming to bed.  I told him in  a little bit  b/c I was tired.  We then got into an argument about sex, as he wanted to and I didn't b/c I was tired and it was late.  This argument was a little more intense than previous ones on this subject.  We ended up going to bed, no sex and mad at each other.

Day 2

Monday September 12, 2016

Wylie had to work early that morning, so he was up before me.  I went to shower and then came back upstairs to talk to him but he was still mad about the night before and didn't say much.  I remember standing in the kitchen watching him walk out the door with a quick mad "bye".  No hug or kiss good bye.  I finished getting ready for work, got the boys up and ready for school.  I dropped them off at school and headed into work.  I was on I80 Westbound in Omaha just passing 24th St when I called Wylie.  I tried to apologize for last night and saying I would make it up to him that night, but he was still upset and not really accepting my apology or promise for that evening.  We hung up with the argument still unresolved.  It nagged at me while I was at work, but I put it aside and continued about my day.  On the way home, this time on I80 Eastbound at around 24th St again in Omaha, I called him. (I mention the location b/c it sticks in my head that it was at about the same place both times I called him that day.  Again the weird memory thing.)  He was at his Dad's apartment, checking in on him as he had health issues, and playing a few games of cribbage before he had to go back to work on a different job.  I could tell he wasn't as mad as earlier in the day, but he was still short with me.  We just discussed what was going on with the boys that night and his job that evening.  

Wylie worked in the construction industry building scaffolding.  He had just started that job a week after our first date, so almost 12 years he had been doing it.  He had gotten pretty damn good and knew his limits, most of the time.  I'd hear stories later about some crazy stunts he had pulled, but that was Wylie.  Knowing the risks of the job and seeing some the jobs they had done really freaked me out, but I managed to keep that tucked inside b/c I'd go crazy if I thought about it every day.  That evening he had to work in the lobby of an office building after they closed building scaffolding over the escalators and other areas.  He gave me an estimated time of when he would be home and that was the end of the phone call.

I continued on my way picking up Son #2 (4 yrs old) from daycare and headed home to our town to pick up Son #1 (8 yrs old, 2nd grade) from school.  It was around 30-45 mins from the end of our phone call when I was pulling into the school parking lot.  I had just parked when my phone started ringing.  I looked down at the caller ID and immediately felt my stomach drop and I stopped breathing.  It wasn't out of the ordinary for them to be calling, but this time something didn't feel right.  **This is when I learned that your gut and intuition are always right, even when you wish they weren't.**

**Are lessons that I have learned throughout this experience and would like to share with you.