This Picture Says It All

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I feel this calls for a cliché Titanic iceberg reference..... Only the top of the iceberg was visible, while the largest part remained out of view, under water and took down the once largest ship to sail the ocean.   Suffering from grief works the same way.  To those on the outside, you only see a small part of us that we allow you to see.  The amount of pain and suffering that we are going through is simply unimaginable to someone who has not experienced this grief journey we will be on the rest of our lives.  It hits you out of nowhere and sinks you in crippling different stages.

Personally, being someone who rarely shares my feelings, (even with close friends), the suffering I allow people to see is very minimal.  For one, I've always kept my feelings of sadness inside.  It's so much easier to smile, say I'm ok and then move on.  I'm uncomfortable crying or having a breakdown in front of people as I don't want the attention that comes with that.  It's much easier to do all of this and grieve in private where I can be as crazy as I need to be without being judged.  However, in doing this I've realized I may be giving the wrong perception to others.  In my quest to find "healthier ways" to handle my grieving, I've recently felt the urge to share my grief journey and what better way to do than with everyone on the internet!  (You will find out I have a warped sense of humor now, but it helps me cope)  It's much easier to write a blog in the privacy of my home detailing my feelings, than discussing them in person and having to deal with uncomfortable or offensive responses.  Letting others know about my new unwanted life will hopefully help them get an idea of what it's like and possibly ways they can help others.  Granted everyone's grief journey is different, the main thing I want to do is validate other Widow/Widowers feelings.  To let them know the feelings of anger, sadness, guilt, relief, etc. are OK to have.  You need to grieve in your own way and your own time, not with how society thinks you should.  I'm not going to sugar-coat shit, b/c life sure as hell didn't when it took our significant others away from us!

Stay tuned for the blunt, honest, unfiltered ramblings from The Uncensored Widow.

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